bad hotels

i'm working away from home in Warrington and the hotel i'm staying in is shite. the name rhymes with "spillage" and means a place similar to a town only smaller.... you know who you are... some tips...

• Chef... putting things in and getting things out of an industrial microwave does not a chef make... that's about getting fresh stuff and chopping it up and really cooking it... in or on a device that doesn't ding....don't insist on being called Chef... ask people to call you Dick or whatever your name is... no, fuck whatever your name is.. just ask them to call you Dick
• Bar Manager... get some fucking matches. You haven't had any since October
• Bar Staff... stop feigning surprise that you have no matches.
• Reception... look into my eyes.. i'm not a fucking hypnotist i'd just like you to look at me, and take a break from gossiping with the other fucking airhead you work with, while you swipe hundreds of pounds off my credit card. it's just polite to do that.

another shite year kicks off

well... that might be a bit harsh. lots of my life is not shite. lots of it are really good but the really good bits get crushed by the overwhelming might of the shite.
i'd like to remain optimistic about this year but what's the point? the moment i start to think positive i tread in yet another piece of life's dogshit. there doesn't even seem to be any randomness to it either. it's a constant barrage of stupidity, incompetence, indifference, and malevolence fired continually from every direction. there is no escape. financial institutions... airports... train statuions... tube stations... estate agents... employment agents... in fact any kind of agent... ( i make it a rule to replace the word agent with "deceiptful ,sponging, inept wanker" at every opportunity)... those people who you have to deal with on the phone... idiots... the list is endless.
this year it has to stop.
this blog is the start of my one man campaign to shame these bastards into submission. And I'll be suggesting ways we can all unite to make life as miserable for them as they do for us. Ruin them in fact. To stop them in their tracks with the ferocity of smashing a croquet mallet on top of a worm. I really believe it's the only way. If we all gang up on them they'll stop doing it. Join me. Sign up for a world free from shite.